Electile dysfunction...and allergies

This phrase was so brilliant, that I just had to use it as a title for a blog.  It was coined by a Canadian friend on twitter following the elections held last weekend.

As a result of the title, I started to write a blog on politics, but it was incredibly boring and I gave it the old heave ho.  I then went to twitter and pleaded for inspiration.  Several suggestions were offered, but I'm going with allergies.  Thank YOU inspiration provider :-)

Until three years ago, I could count my allergies on one hand - pollen, mushrooms and velvet (more on that later).

Let the real blog begin.

Several years ago when eating a banana, I felt my throat constrict, and I went into histamine mode.  A few months later, and celery gave me the same reaction.  Then raw onions, cucumber, plums, peaches, apricots, etc, etc.  In the last week, I've discovered I'm allergic to almonds and today (yes, today!)...lettuce. WTF?  Lettuce.  How bizarre is that?  OMG, I am gonna die of scurvy!!!

What brought all this on?  Well, according to my BFF Google, if you've suffered extreme hayfever as a child, chances are that later in life, you can get adult onset Oral Allergy Syndrome.  When you bite into something, for example a peach, the body recognises the proteins in the peach as pollen and immediately the histamine mode is triggered upstairs in the ole brain department.

I've started taking antihistamines with me everywhere now.  Today's lettuce reaction was the icing on the cake. I'm furious about this latest addition to the list.

Note to self: Good on ya body, you're really making friends with me at the moment.  If you don't watch out, when I get rich, I'm going to attack you with all sorts of plastic surgery.  So, nyah nyah body - mind your step.

Right, thats the food allergy portion over.  Guess you're still wondering about my velvet allergy.

Um, before I go any further...I'm swapping the word "velvet" for the "v- word".  The Magical Talking Cat also uses the term v-word when referring to the Vet.  In this instance, my blog, my v-word, sorry MTC.

Why, v-word you ask?  Because the actual word literally makes my skin crawl.  If you could see me now, you'd see goosebumps on my arms, hairs standing up on the back of my neck, sweat on my brow and me rubbing my fingertips together furiously.  Oh yeah, its a really stunning sight.

I don't know why.  I don't know when.  I don't know how.  All I know is that the thought and feel of the v-word fabric makes me cringe...and sweat...and makes my fingerprints itch.

Allergies only become a problem when they impact on your day to day life, right?  Well, my v-word allergy has done that.  One of my major passions is musical theatre, and I've been in the wardrobe team for the last seven years at the local theatre company.

What use is a dresser when they can't handle half the costumes?  Yep, you guessed it.  No use at all.  Luckily for me, the theatre company (a) has a fabulous glove drawer and (b) everyone else is also slightly mad.  They don't seem to mind when I don my favourite pair of purple gloves (incidentally finished with purple ostrich feathers on the cuffs) to dress cast members.  There is a photo of me wearing said purple gloves whilst unpicking a v-word cape about four years ago, but I can't find it at the moment.  I'll keep digging.

I've tried to get over it.  The wardrobe team have tried to conquer my allergy with their various methods of subliminal advertising and verbal mentions.  On some occasions, I've had to run shrieking and screaming from the room when someone has flung an item in my direction in a futile attempt to cure me.  I think its fair to say that after 7 years, they've given up.  Yes, all hope is lost.

Or is it?  Would hypnotism work?  Should I?  Could I?  Would I? Or should I just accept that this is one of those weird things that makes me, me?  I'll keep pondering it. 

In the meantime, I'll thank you to not mention or wear ("Sista Mary Turquoise" - I'm talking to you) the v-word ;-)