In times of test, family is best...

Hatched. Matched. Dispatched.  These are the three most regular forms of family gatherings.

And although its always interesting to catch up with family from near and far, there is one aspect that I just can't stand.  The questions. 

Lets break it down by age:

0 - 4 years
"Which one are you"? (said to my sister and I jointly)

5-18 years
"How is school"?
"What is your favourite subject"?
"Which one are you"?

18-24 years
"How is university"?
"What are you studying"?
"How is your job"?
"Which one are you"?

24 years +
"Are you married"?
"Do you have any children"?
"When are you going to get married?"
"When are you going to have children"?
"Which one are you"?

I detest "the questions".  I always make a point of not asking age appropriate questions of my younger cousins.  Jeez, there are so many other interesting things to talk about.  An example of a more interesting topic -  "Have you managed to dodge Aunty May from Hokitika and her "how is school" question today"? Or "Holy shit, have you tasted those club sandwiches"?

My relations may well think they're making friendly conversation / breaking the ice / clever to not be discussing the weather, in actual fact I consider their enquiries to be incredibly rude.  They should have done their homework before arriving at the event. 

For fucks sake, if I've turned up at a family function (whereby my immediate family is the focus of the event) without a partner/husband and kids in tow, chances are that I don't have either.  And what gives you the right to pass judgment on my marital status?  Or indeed, pass judgment on my morals.

I don't want to be single.  I don't want to be childless.  A religious person may put my marital and family status down to not being God's will. Riiiight.

Often I take stock of what I've achieved and what I've missed out on.  According to extended family members, the only purpose in life is to tick off the matched and hatched boxes before reaching dispatched.  I was kind of hoping there was more to life than that.  Obviously not.

I was at a family function on Friday, and ended up sitting in the car for an hour and a half because I got sick of the questions, the "knowing" looks, the innuendo.  On the upside, I deleted a whole lot of texts, digital photos and managed to update facebook and twitter.  And oh yeah, even touched up my makeup and painted my nails.  Not bad for 90 minutes in heartland New Zealand.

In times of test, family is best? Not if they ask the questions.