If I was Prime Minister

We are heading to the polls later this year.  Disappointment will inevitably follow because I never end up voting for the person who wins the local electorate (even when I cheat myself and vote for the opposition).  Either way, the government always wins.  Should I even bother?

Oh, that rumbling noise you can hear and/or feel at the moment is Great-grandma spinning in her grave at Peria.  C'mon Great-grandma, you know that I always end up feeling guilty and heading down to the polling booth at the last minute.  And, I sincerely thank you for fighting for women's voting rights, and ensuring that New Zealand women were the first women in the world to be able to do so.  You can stop spinning, girlfriend.

But generally speaking, politics just don't interest me.  However, I've been thinking that if I was Prime Minister, I would immediately propose a few changes to current legislation, such as:

1.  Sonny Bill Williams must weigh in shirtless for boxing matches and ALL rugby games;

SBW today

2.  It would be illegal for the Highlanders to wear green;

3.  It would be illegal for people to throw their cigarette butts out their car windows;

4.  It would be illegal to use the phrases "my bad" and "awesome sauce" (that's a whole blog in itself);

5.  It would be illegal to wear sneans or jeggings in public (see my blog of 14 May if you're unfamiliar with those terms).

I know that with those five policies for starters, I wouldn't win the votes of a chain smoking jegginger and her colour-blind sneaner and gamer boyfriend, but you can't win them all, can you?