There is no excuse.
No. There's not. Not one. None. Zip zero nada nothing.
Firstly, for the non-sneaners and non-jeggers reading this...what is a snean or a jegging, I hear you ask? Both are major fashion crimes...M A J O R.
Sneans: Sneakers worn with jeans
Jeggings: Leggings in the style of jeans
Uh, helloooo? If the sneaker was designed with a particular work-out purpose in mind, it is for working out. Not day wear. Not street wear. Not anything but working out (probably in the gym) wear.
And jeggings...crikey...who on earth dreamed those up in a drug-induced haze? According to fashionistas, jeggings are ok if you're size zero and have pencil thin legs. The problem is that most Jeggingers (yeah, just made that one up too) aren't size zero, and don't have pencil thin legs.
In fact, upon reflection, I've never ever seen a Jegginger less than a size 16. No honey, jeggings DO NOT give the illusion of long thin legs. Jeggings simply encase your legs. They do not lengthen them. They do not effectively "spanx" them. They do nothing at all to make anyone into a supermodel.
I know you each know someone guilty of being a sneaner or jegginger. And you're probably panicking. Can this person be helped / saved / made to see the light?
Why, yes...yes they can. Everyone has the potential to be "de-dorked" in the clothing department. Everyone. Trust me on this. A friend went through a major de-dorking exercise on a complete dorky sneaner, and he's turned out wonderfully.
Here's some tips for de-dorking a sneaner:
1. You may just need to buy him a cool pair of casual shoes. Perhaps he doesn't have anything but sneakers and work shoes? Fingers crossed its as simple as that.
2. You could try the old "Oh babe, you were wearing those sneakers at the gym earlier, won't they still be hot and sweaty? Here put these on" as you hand him another footwear option.
3. Or, harshly, but possibly the most effective "If you think you're going into public with me wearing that get-up, you're kidding yourself. Get your ass back into the wardrobe and get changed or we are NOT leaving the house".
And tips for de-dorking a jegginger:
1. Hide / throw out jeggings when they're not looking.
2. Say "Holy *#$& those are ugly. WTF made you buy them? They're *&$%ing awful girlfriend".
Sneans...jeggings...there is NO excuse.
References:
"sneaner" @CrewcutWaikato (c) 2011
Postscript: Aforementioned @CrewcutWaikato found this sneaner in the Papakura McDonalds on Judgment Day. It is definitely a nationwide problem.
But wait...there's more. The following sign was spotted by @jinnee79 (again on Judgment Day). When will this madness end?
Hallelujah. I'm size zero and even I wouldn't be causght dead in jeggings. And in the same vein...footless tights? They are NOT pants. The can be worn with a LONG TUNIC style top, or under a dress...or in fact any top that covers your ass. If it doesn't cover your ass, we can see EVERYTHING, icluding your undies, or lack of, and your breakfast. Camel toes are still NOT in. You CANNOT wear those things as pants. That is all.
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