See ya 2011, wouldn't wanna be ya.

We're on the verge of kissing goodbye 2011. And when I say "kissing", I actually mean decking it.  This is has been a pretty sucky year, especially for the Cantabrians in New Zealand.  Mother Nature needs to get over herself. And soon.

As always, the end of the year provides an opportunity to reflect, reiminisce and decide what changes to make when moving forward into the next year.

I've always been pretty good at keeping resolutions, and I intend to keep my 2012 resolution too.  What is it? This:

My 2012 New Year's resolution is to start preparing lunch at home each morning and taking it to work with me, rather than buying my lunch which I probably do 4 out of 5 days a week.  However, I have a long-standing lunch date with my BFF, so I will allow myself one bought lunch per week.

I've already been dreaming of shreded turkey, colby cheese, lite mayo & lettuce sandwiches (washed down with an antihistamine to counteract my newly developed allergy to boring old lettuce).  Yum!  In fact, if I had the ingredients here, I'd make one right now.

It might sound simple to some, but I'll have to break some pretty serious habits to get this one cracking. For example, I'll have to have groceries in the house AND will have to get out of bed earlier each day (except Thursday). Yikes!

Thats me...what are you resolutions for 2012?

Santa, I've been veeeery good

I've been good this year. Yes, really! And, I've put up with all sorts of things that a sane person of good moral standing should not need to put up with. 

Everyone else is doing it (yeah, yeah...they're all under ten years of age...whatever), but anyway, here's my Christmas Wish List.  

For your purchasing convenience, I've included some piccys.  I wouldn't want you to waste your hard-earned pingers on the wrong thing.

Twelve Kartell Louis ghost chairs.  To have less than 12 people at a dinner party is a crime.  One must always have the obligatory twelve, in which case, one must indeed have the obligatory twelve Kartell Louis ghost chairs

A Kindle.  Word on the street (at the North Pole) is I'm likely to get one, so this is exceptionally good news for both me and Amazon.

La Premiere movie tickets for a year.  I live in the city which boasts New Zealand's best movie theatre. And oh em gee, it is flash as ow.  Its like being in a five star hotel.  The La Premiere class is waitered and catered, and the food on the menu is divine.

A Dutch style bicycle with a basket on the front so I can take my cat for a ride.  He'd love to feel the breeze blowing through his whiskers.  You might think I'm nuts, well, you haven't met my crazy cat who delights at sprinting up and down the footpath on his lead showing off to all and sundry.  A basket on a bicycle would be like cruising town in a chauffeur-driven Ferrari for him.

Only four days left until Christmas.  That should give you plenty of time to organise one or all of the above items for a self-proclaimed very good girl.

Follow Friday

Awww, check this out! Best #FF ever in the history of Best #FF’s.

And because it was so good, I decided to blog my #FF’s today.

Admittedly, I usually stick to the same old bunch of tweeps, but this time I’m gonna step waaaaaay out of my comfort zone, and suggest some of the odd-bods in my timeline.

@hello_im_megan The poor thing has a psycho ex-doghandler living in her house, sleeping in her bed even. And, what’s worse is that she spends her days knee deep in the bodily hair of her newly waxed clients. Yeow! Guaranteed to make you die laughing.

@blakamin @feefeebofaye @evilkud @JumpinJen @V8Matty ß these are the people I am about to become insanely rich with. Somehow I wangled my way into their twotto group, and every week we take turns at buying lotto tickets, and then tweeting our disappointment after the stupid lotto machine invariably chooses the wrong numbers. However, this week, we’ve all got a good feeling about the tix because I’m pretty sure I saw the nice lady press the secret “holycowthispersonsoneedstowin” button as I handed over my $24. Well done nice lady. The “holycowthispersonsoneedstowin” button has a direct link to the ball sucker thingie at lotto headquarters, and I tell you, this week, our balls WILL be sucked!

@kixy_stabbs One of my Vancouver tweepettes and fellow crazy cat lady. My cat loves her too because she always likes his instagram portraits. Last night, Edel even posed so he could send her a special goodnight picture. I’d say that she would be my major competition in the CATegory of “Twitter’s Craziest Cat Ladies”. One of the two of us will win. Guaranteed. Also, she's a real life bestie of @loveyourcake, so you get to see all kinds of weird and wonderful hashtags if you're following both of them.

@alexmc183 I've only just met him recently, and wow...he's giving @kyleipryor a run for his money in the "nicest guy on twitter" stakes. Often his tweets will be filled with stuff about VoIP and techy computery stuff that only @5hameless seems to understand. I glaze over when he's tweeting stuff like that, but when he tweets about BMW's, he has my full attention because he always refers to them by their entwicklung codes. Very cool. By the way, @alexmc183 @kyleipryor @5hameless and I have our own secret language. Nothing like a good nipple in your gomez, is there boys?

@websam Another of my local tweeps, he is responsible for putting together the logistical nightmare that is #nzsecretsanta. He also specialises in giant pumpkins, you know, the ones that take up the WHOLE of the back of a ute. So awesome. If you have ANY giant pumpkin queries, he is THE man.

And finally, because I know she was busting for me to #FF her, meet @SimoneBairdNZ. Apparently we live in the same city, but we've never crossed paths (that I know of). I'm not even sure she's a real person, but we are facebook friends so that does give her a bit more street cred. If she's not a real person, she's doing a damn fine job of pretending to be one. Another crazy cat lady, and always pottering about on twitter, ready to tweet when you least expect it.

I've read back and realised that I did mention some of my faves amongst this odd-bod list, but twitter becomes a small place after a while and everyone kind of ends up knowing everyone else.

Anyway, there's some #FF lovin' for ya. Hope you've enjoyed it.

Writey x

What do you think of your children?

I used a blog topic generator to come up with today’s topic, because I don’t feel like writing the “Amazing men and their overwhelming desire to marry revolting women” blog (I’ll write it one day, promise).

And the topic: “What do you think of your children?”

Woah.

Ok, generator. You suggested it, so I’ll write about it.

My extended families (both paternal and maternal) are huge. My sister and I have hundreds of cousins (first, second, third, etc) in every direction. A real sense of family was instilled in us from a young age, so it made sense that I was “Aunty” to her dolls and teddy bears, and she “Aunty” to mine.

As we got older, the title of Aunty extended to living things – guppies (they were ALL called Larry because (a) they all looked the same and (b) they all swum around the tank “happy as Larry”), goldfish (Fisher & Paykel), cats (Friesian, Fluffy, All Black & Wallaby), a goat (Bartley) and a horse (Tootsie).

So, once an Aunty, always an Aunty, right? At this exact moment in time, my sister and I each have one child. She has a wonderful daughter Foxglove* aged 5 ½ and I have a son, Edelweis.

“Edelweis, isn’t that the name of your cat?” I hear you say? Yes.

Just because my son is a quadruped, is covered in fur and purrs when happy doesn’t mean I love him any less than I would a human.

He is the love of my life. When I’m at work, driving around town, flying around the country, in fact, anywhere except for home, his dear little face pops into my mind. And when I think of him, I smile and get that warm, contented, excruciatingly happy feeling that can only be described as love.

Back to the generator question…what do I think of him? Well, I think he’s witty, silly, loyal and incredibly photogenic. Occasionally I think he’s a grumpy little so and so.

It makes me proud when he patiently puts up with children patting him and tugging at his fur. It makes me extra proud when greets each visitor to our home. I love that he always answers a question and believes that his tail is a separate entity to the rest of him.

I love that he trusts me so wholeheartedly that he can fall into a deep sleep with all four legs in the air. And I adore that he is a stickler for routines. 

Most of all, I love that he is my son, and that the Universe meant for us to be together.

Well played Universe, well played.

*Not her real name

"Meet Me" - The blogger behind this blog

My blogging idol and dear twitter friend @loveyourcake had a brainwave, and that was to encourage other bloggers to do a post called "Meet Me". Here's Cakey's Meet Me blog: http://bit.ly/vc3Gf8

Accordingly, here's a little glimpse into my "real" life.

Let's see, I might start with stuff you've already garnered from previous blog posts:

• I'm a New Zealander, but lived in Australia for 7 wonderful years
• I am the smothering mother of one extraordinary fluffy white cat who is the absolute love of my life
• I love public speaking, Princess Diana and Instagram
• I was at a brothel on the day of 9/11
• I've been on a date with Tom Cruise
• And, I can't sleep with one foot hanging over the edge of the bed for fear of the crocodile who lives under the bed eating my foot during the night. I even tried last night, and lasted about 5 seconds before I had to retrieve my foot from certain doom

Now that you can see that I am completely sane, I'll present you with some pictures of my life.

I have a Velma Dinkley fetish,
and go out dressed up as her about twice a year.

Grauman's Chinese Theatre, Hollywood - My right hand is
EXACTLY the same size as Marilyn Monroes!

My other alter-ego is "Sista Mary Speights" and often I can be found out on the town in a full habit. This picture was taken last month on a temporary ice rink brought into the city during the Rugby World Cup.

My adorable cat LOVES going for walks on his lead. He chooses where we go, and I just follow along (sometimes at pace if he's cantering in order to feel the breeze flowing through his whiskers).

Grandma's piano at my place. My most beloved possessions sit on top of it. I don't play as often as I should. I must remedy that soon.

I took up Tap Dancing several years ago, as I didn't learn to tap as a child. This is me treading the boards last week as a haggard housewife (middle of picture, holding a black cat) in the dance school's end of year recital.

So, there you have it...a photographic insight into the real me (a costume-loving, tap-dancing, crazy cat lady whose right hand is exactly the same size as Marilyn Monroes and who doesn't play the piano as often as she should).

PS. My right hand slid into Marilyn's hand print as though I'd made it myself. My left hand didn't fit as well in her hand print, but I can't remember if mine was smaller or larger than hers. I'll have to pop back to Hollywood to find out, I guess.

Tweet Number Twenty-thousand!

This blog marks my 20,000th tweet. And, this milestone will be beyond my mother's comprehension...I can hear her saying "Twenty thousand? What on earth do you twit about" (yes, "twit", not tweet. Remember, we are talking about the woman who rings me every so often to ask me how to twink (white-out) things off her computer screen).

Anyway, back to No.20,000. I thought what better way to celebrate it than mention a few of the tweeps who've made my twitter experience so enjoyable.

Feel free to follow some or all of this unruly lot, they're all gems in their own right.

@mattymcleanTVNZ - Matty and I met during a fundraising event I managed a couple of years ago. He was my guest speaker and had the crowd in stitches. Matty was my first "celeb" friend on twitter, and incidentally it was he who I was tweeting on 22 February 2011 when #eqnz turned our world upside down.

@HauteOnMyHeels - In the olden days (as in twelve months ago), the home page of twitter would show trending tweets. I saw one of Haute's and died laughing, so decided to follow her which then lead to me discovering...

@LoveYourCake - Cakey! My beloved Cakey who gave me my first twitter nickname "Writey". How cute is that?! Cakey was the first person to DM me that I didn't know. And I FREAKED OUT. She said she loved my twitter profile and just wanted to say it was the best one she'd ever read. I didn't know how to respond. Was she chatting me up? Was she making a move? What the hell was going on? I gingerly responded and since then have even talked to her on the phone during a tweet-up at her place.

If you follow Haute or Cakey you immediately get wrapped up in this funny little place called Vancouver. And their ice-hockey team the Canucks. And a national delicacy called "poutine" (from what I can gather, its fries covered in gravy and cheese curds). I'm still not convinced that its yummy though...curds? It sounds like regurgitated stomach lining to me. Your Vancouver experience won't be the same unless you also follow @BretInVancouver @VancityAmy @kixy_stabbs @LindsayDianne @TheFalconer @suitoflights @hurrrdurrr @SSDated @cicychan @MetalBlonde @schneidz @CeciBruja @causticchick @korvan @g_bugg @Babe_Chilla @geoffgauthier @WinnieIsAwesome @TessTattles @PirateMeghan @SarahSpizzie @teapleeze and honorary BC-er @MattyDorf - there are heaps of them. If twitter had an award for the most tweety-ish city, it would HAVE to go to Vancouver. My apologies for any of the regulars I've left out. I will keep amending this list.

@TiffanytheTaxi - I met this Sydneysider on the night of Wills and Kate tying the knot. She was also using the hashtag #RW2011 and we got chatting. I've mentioned her in this blog before and can't wait to meet up with her irl. Thanks to Tiff, I'm going to take up crocheting!

@LABeachmom and @phxguy88 - I can't remember how these two wriggled their way into my timeline, but oh my god...you have to follow this gorgeous, platonic, sweet friendship. Someone HAS to make a movie about them! Both are hilarious, and one is always pulling the other up by the bootstrings in a flirty, fun-loving way. I can't explain it. Just follow them, will ya? PS: We're talking MAJOR eye-candy here too folks. Sweet, all round, I promise.

@VaginaDesigner - Another tweep I found out about via the social butterfly Haute. The poor thing gets to flossy up women's nether regions by way of waxing and vajazzling. Can't say I'd be brave enough to do that, but on behalf of all the husbands, boyfriends and partners of your clients in Los Angeles, THANK YOU for going there! And when we grow up, Jen and I are going to live in the same town and go everywhere in costume. Her costume fetish equals mine! Unheard of, I know.

@kyleipryor - I've often referred to Kyle as "the nicest guy on twitter" and I stand by those words. Apparently if you're into Spartacus, he's kind of a big deal, but I've never watched it/that...what is it, a movie, a series, what? I've challenged KP to an arm wrestle which will be moderated by the equally lovely @5hameless (one of my local tweeps and go-to guy when I'm having iPhone issues). I'm pretty sure that KP is shaking in his boots at the thought of my guns taking down his in the upcoming arm wrestle. And oh yeah, KP and I are getting married in January. Damn, I forgot about that. Don't tell him I forgot, ok? And best of all, KP is often on set when "Embarassing Teenage Bodies" airs, so he watches it a few days later after we've all recovered. Seriously funny.

@thornybleeder - Move over Bryan Adams and Justin Bieber, I've found a real Canadian muso on twitter. He trawls the net all day and night so that you don't have to, and instead you can focus on your music, social media or whatever career while he sorts out the good from the bad. And, once you're aware of him, you soon realise that he is everywhere - twitter, facebook, various websites, instagram, even your email inbox if you sign up to his DIY Daily newsletter. And if he's at none of those places, well, he's probably at Kitsilano Beach in Vancouver where he and his gorgeous dogdaughter Koda check out their mayoral realm twice a day. Warning: Just when you think you've never met anyone cooler, he might tweet something out of character. Definitely cool 99.99999% of the time. If he has a rare out of character moment, just gently ask him to LISTEN TO SOME SEPULTURA FORTHWITH!

@Hilary_Barry and @MrMikeMcRoberts - For those outside New Zealand, these two read the 6pm news AND TWEET LIVE DURING THE BROADCAST! It's fantastic! Quite often they'll mention twitter at the end of the show (go us!). Best of all, they let us know what the upcoming stories are before they tell the rest of NZ. Awesome. Talk about being in the know. For a news junkie like myself, it's heaven on earth...well, heaven in the twitterverse. Mike gets extra points from me because he married one of the cool girls from a few years ahead of me at highschool @paulapenfold. FYI, I WAS the coolest of cool in my year at highschool, thank you very much.

@perstephanie_ - An absolute sweetheart, and I have no idea how I found her. She LOVES that I colour-code my books in my bookshelves. It sounds like her closet is the ultimate in colour and style arrangement though. I'll need a picture of it oneday gf!

@Mammy_P - introduced to me by @BretInVancouver who we refer to as BIVVER. Somehow, I got the nickname VIVVER and she's PIVVER. Regardless of all the ivvering, she is exceptionally kind and funny, and because shes in the UK, I can usually rely on her being online when I'm going through a bout of #insomniargh in NZ.

And finally, some of my own personal highlights on twitter:

1. @DavidHasselhoff follows me. Why, I have no idea. Am I stoked? HELL YES!

2. @LA_Reid tweeted me last week, which in turn made my dear little twitter profile trend in NZ. WTF? OMG!

3. #smcHam or #smcTron - My local tweeps are the best bunch one could wish for (outside of Vancouver). Although I don't always get to the tweet-ups, they're supportive, fun and some of them are verging on new BFF tag. Ok you lot, I said "verging", not that you had made it...yet. Plus, they make 4square heaps more competitive. The local 4square battles are full-on, hard out wars. Suck it down, all the cool mayoralties around town will be MINE!

4. The various friendships I've formed from following or using these hashtags: #RHOBH, #OW, #TBLFAS, #NZNTM, #ANTM, #BFGW, #GoGirls, #amwriting and #EQNZ amongst others. Oh, I better give a shout out to all the cat-lovers and the insomniacs too. Argh, too many people to mention! But here are some of my favourite gfs: @amandimoo @L_To @kathadu @WendyWings @jstcamel @bexielady @aimewee @hello_im_megan @jinnee79 @brenasmith @PaMelville @feefeebofaye @Chandy229 @muffinmum @meegandale83. Again, I'll amend this list.

Seriously, a big thank you to EVERYONE that I interact with on a daily basis on twitter. Your humour, your compassion and your odd ways of looking at life all make the twitterverse the completely sane / crazy place that it is.

Cheers
Writey x

Roo-muh-neyt-lahy-tis

"Its best not to let her ruminate".

I suffer from chronic ruminatelitis (I also suffer from makingwordsupitis).  If I'm not busy, I begin to ponder, and when I ponder I get depressed, and when I get depressed, yada yada.

I'm on the verge of another episode of ruminatelitis because in the last month I've completed my latest qualification and as of last week, my tap lessons have finished for 2011.

Essentially, this means that I've freed up about an extra 15-20 hours per week.  I'm sure some of you would be stoked with the extra time, but it doesn't work like that for me.  

Extra time = more time to ponder = ruminatelitis

I still work 40 hours a week at my real job and "Write On" takes up a good 30+ hours a week.  Sessions with my PT and my own training take up approximately 7 hours per week. 

Ooh, oh...lets do some maths:

Real Job  40 hours
Write On  30 hours
Gym          7 hours
Sleep       49 hours (if I'm lucky, that another blog in itself)
Living       25 hours (housework, groceries, visiting friends)
TOTAL   151 hours that I'm doing stuff

Which means I have 17 free hours, 17 hours to ruminate.

This is not a good thing.

I need to fix this.

ASAP.

I don't want to sit in a pub or restaurant and get drunk. 

Unfortunately I can't do any further study at the moment because there weren't any tempting summer school courses. 

What. To. Do. ?

All suggestions appreciated.